I'm so very tired of being sad all the time...
I watch movies and read and hide myself in that weird silly tempest that is fandom, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should just quit them altogether.
(Fandom is an abusive boyfriend you cannot quit; it beats you every time, but you tell yourself it's always better than silence).
(Anything is better than silence).
I'm tired. The house is so big, and with everyone gone, all I can hear is myself. I don't like my own noise.
I miss your noise. Your music. I even miss your silence.
My mom finally left. I hugged her and said "I love you, I love you, mom, I'll always love you". I don't think she remembers, though. I wanted to ask her not to go, not to leave me here all alone, but of course, I couldn't do such a thing.
I hate this big, lonely house. I hate your absence. I hate being sad. I hate to miss you.
I hate the fact that every time silence grows so big it swallows the world around me, I can still hear your music.
I watch movies and read and hide myself in that weird silly tempest that is fandom, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should just quit them altogether.
(Fandom is an abusive boyfriend you cannot quit; it beats you every time, but you tell yourself it's always better than silence).
(Anything is better than silence).
I'm tired. The house is so big, and with everyone gone, all I can hear is myself. I don't like my own noise.
I miss your noise. Your music. I even miss your silence.
My mom finally left. I hugged her and said "I love you, I love you, mom, I'll always love you". I don't think she remembers, though. I wanted to ask her not to go, not to leave me here all alone, but of course, I couldn't do such a thing.
I hate this big, lonely house. I hate your absence. I hate being sad. I hate to miss you.
I hate the fact that every time silence grows so big it swallows the world around me, I can still hear your music.