lira: (W: Watch the world burn)
Tomorrow I have to chose between:

a) Taking a stupid underpaid job that won't leave me enough time to draw or write or do anything worth doing anymore and totally waste the rest of my lame existence or

b) NOT taking it and wait until my stepfather kicks me out of the house, in which case my existence is pretty much over anyway. Because there's no way I'm doing certain things I did when I was younger again, like...

Like taking stupid underpaid jobs that take away everything.

... yay, happiness.

Don't get me wrong, I'm ok with getting a job. Even if it's not a job I would enjoy. But... I don't want to work until 8 p.m or later, six days a week. I don't want to get home just to eat and sleep.

If your whole life becomes a cycle of get up - work - go to sleep - repeat... what's the point? Survival only? What if you don't really give a rat's ass about survival?

Where is the time you need to do things worth all the effort? And please don't say on Sundays. Be realistic. When you work all those hours, on Sunday you can only lie there doing nothing resting your brain. Been there, done that.

Don't really want to do again.

Bluh, I'm really bad at this 'being an adult' thing. I will never get used to it, probably because it doesn't make sense at all.

Nothing makes sense.




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