Sep. 2nd, 2011

lira: (HS: Vriska - God Tier)
I'm so very tired of being sad all the time...

I watch movies and read and hide myself in that weird silly tempest that is fandom, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should just quit them altogether.

(Fandom is an abusive boyfriend you cannot quit; it beats you every time, but you tell yourself it's always better than silence).

(Anything is better than silence).

I'm tired. The house is so big, and with everyone gone, all I can hear is myself. I don't like my own noise.

I miss your noise. Your music. I even miss your silence.

My mom finally left. I hugged her and said "I love you, I love you, mom, I'll always love you". I don't think she remembers, though. I wanted to ask her not to go, not to leave me here all alone, but of course, I couldn't do such a thing.

I hate this big, lonely house. I hate your absence. I hate being sad. I hate to miss you.

I hate the fact that every time silence grows so big it swallows the world around me, I can still hear your music.

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